Wednesday, March 25, 2009

New name needed for the War on Terror

The terms “Global War on Terror” and “The Long War” are out. They imply that we might actually fight back against people who want to kill and enslave us, justified by a widely-held 7th century interpretation of their faith.

See this story: 'Global War on Terror' is Given New Name

“President Wonderful” is casting about for a term that will make us seem less resolute, more accommodating, more European if you will. They are currently using Overseas Contingency Operations, but that hardly has the panache one would expect from an administration known for rhetoric more than anything else.

(I wasn’t being sarcastic calling BO “President Wonderful.” That’s the term being used now by a Washington Post columnist. Really.

But imagine adoring sons asking, “What did you do in the Overseas Contingency Operations, daddy?” Or grizzled vets complaining, “Kids have it easy today. When I was their age, I was in an Overseas Contingency Operation.”

Perhaps we’ll have motivational posters urging patriotic Americans to Buy Overseas Contingency Operations Bonds!

No, clearly President Wonderful needs some help on this one. So, in the same spirit of the bi-partisanship that the left extended to President Bush, I want to help.

How about “International Tea Party”? No, probably reminds President BO too much of the tax revolt.

“We know we deserve it for being Americans, but please stop kicking us”? No, too long for the Teleprompter.

“World Wide Bailout”? No, bailouts are getting a bad name.

“Peace in our Time”? No, been done.

“Can we buy you off?” No, too transparent.

“The Unfortunate Misunderstanding”? Better, but too reminiscent of the claim that people like me—and apparently millions of Muslims—misunderstand Islam, which is a Religion of Peace. Hummmm.

“Our Friendly Effort to Remind Muslims That When They Engage in Murder, Violence and Hate, they Misunderstand Islam”? “The War Against the Tiny Minority of Extremists Who Have Hijacked Islam, the Religion of Peace”? This is harder than I thought. No wonder President Wonderful hasn’t come up with a catchy slogan.

Can you do better? Please post your suggestion for the new name for the Global War on Terror in the comments section below. No profanity please.


  1. Thank you for your service to our Country.
    I will have to ponder the new saying.

  2. "The Infadel Strikes Back" or "Return of the GI"

  3. Praise Allah, and Pass the vaseline.

  4. Thanks for serving, sir.

    Hmm. "Diciplinary action" is too paternalistic for our current Secretary of State to permit. "Police action" has been used, and has been given a bad name. No wonder the idiot in the oval office can't come up with anything that doesn't scream "we're bending over the barrel and grabbing our ankles."

  5. "The War of Mid-Eastern Aggression"

  6. Dear Robert;

    A friend of mine sent me your "I'm Tired" piece. I loved it. Your sentiments are spot on. I'm only 50, and I, too, am tired of all of the BS from our friends on the left. They would call it "manure" in the hopes that we would accept it as something that promotes growth.

    My friends and I will work on coming up with a new name for the Overseas Contingency Operation. You know, if people continue to water down our terminologies, pretty soon, we won't really have any more problems: everything will be good. (My liberal Mom's favorite saying these days is, "It's all good." Another crock of BS, I mean manure, or perhaps I should say "fertilizer". Yeah, yeah, that's it.

    There was an article that I read about a year ago on this very subject (watering down our language). To whit, we no longer call those who rape children "rapists", but "child molesters". This takes the edge off of the reality of what was done to the victims of such a horrible crime.

    The GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR is what it states: war is war and war is hell. But if we water down the language so we "don't offend", we take the teeth out of what our military is trying to do. That would be a mistake of GLOBAL proportions.

    I'll get back to you with some ideas. So far, we have NOPE: Nebulous Overseas Political Expedition. I think we can do better than that.

    Jake Huff
    Eugene, Oregon

  7. Don't fret. The idiots in D.C. will come up with something catchy, yet not offensive. They gave us "Toxic Assets" which are really bad mortgages, but if you call them by thier proper name you might be reminded of Fannie & Frediie. Then you might recall who pushed those brillialnt programs,and the golden parachutes thier CEOs walked out with. Its much easier to blame Wall Street and pay homage to "King if the Hill Barney Frank, BO & company for our salvation.
    PS: Can a grunt still get a CIB for fighting in Overseas Contingency Operations?

  8. Managing Advanced Islamic Martyrdom (MAIM)

  9. Sir, you have our respect for your service to this country....

    I'm thinking president hussein should use this:

    The International Intervention Against Hate

    Imagine ol' Bin Laden's eyes when he walks into the cave, looks around and there's his whole family, one of his wives walks up and puts her covered hand on his shoulder, and says "Praise be to Allah, this is an intervention."

  10. Gee Whiz, I thought that was a good name for the program. What happened? Let's try that again.

    Managing Advanced Islamic Martyrdom (MAIM)

    That sounds pretty good to me.

  11. Dear Robert and commenter Jake,
    I'm 27 and not even American and I'm already tired of all this. Tired but not giving up!
    I also read your article "I'm tired" and I could feel the pain and the perplexity to the stupidity of this Orwellian brave new world.


  13. Scipio Africanus here.

    I think Ronald Reagan had a concise name for what BO proposes. He called it "Surrender."

  14. How about Total Eradication (of) Radical Muslims Including Neutralizing (or Neutering) All Terrorist Elements (TERMINATE)? Or, if that's too extreme, the BO version might be: Temporary Eradication (of) Radical Muslims (TERM). Or possibly, Super Quick Universal Interdiction (of) Radical Muslims (SQUIRM).

  15. I don't think President What?? will call a spade a spade but I will. It's the beginning of the end of the "American Dream". So glad I found your blog by getting e-mailed "I'm tired" because I'm tired too! If only enough people would get tired too, we might have a chance to save the dream for our children and theirs.

  16. Hm. With a new name, will I get a new piece of chest candy and a new certificate? Because, certainly, my GWOT medals and plaques will clash with history's recollection of the OCO.

    I know! We should send Pres. O. the bill for producing new medals, new design schemes and issuing new certificates. Emphasize that this will require pumping money into Defense and the military. He'll back away from this ridiculous idea faster than he ran away from his campaign stance on the benefits and support of nuclear power.

    Thank you, sir, for your service. Wish more of our ship riders were like you. It'd made for intriguing conversation on my last med tour.

    ET1(SW/AW), exceptionally bitter about America's new face

  17. "The Rose Formerly Known As GWOT"

  18. Have read your, I'M TIRED, and you said everything that sticks in my craw about this administration and what is wrong with the government. Where the U.S. is headed is anyones guess with these (LEADERS) in control. Read all your blogs from concerned citizens and wonder how we can do something to help get us out of this mess.????

  19. How about "Operation Kill a Bunch-O-Evil-Sleaze-Balls before they kill another 3000 American civilians"? Ooopps, Sorry, not politically correct enough for the left. To bad.

  20. Thank you for the protection to this country Sr.
    As far as Your " I'M Tired " Right on target Sr. God Bless You, and Count Me In.

  21. Why not call it "Global Warming" since that's apparently so bad and evil that "everyone will want to end it", right? Then when the troops do come home then we could kill two birds with one stone right?
    Why hasn't BO named it "Bush started it!"? Or "Not me!" I'm sure if he sat down and talked with the more "moderate" terrorists (or are they "insurgents"? I forget.) he could tell them "Don't worry we don't have Bush anymore so you can stop killing us now. Or maybe he could just use a little liberal love and "ignore it, and it will go away"?

  22. Struggle to Resist Being Beheaded by Barbarians

  23. Just saw your piece on I am tired really great .... what floored me was you were a state senator from Massachusetts .... I was born in Boston in 41 graduated from BC in 63 off to grad school then work finding oil and gas for 35 years.... now in Texas.... still have family in Boston area ... I find it disheartening at the looney tune leftists they keep electing up there how in God's name were you ever elected .... keep up the great work ....Art

  24. "The War of The Two Towers." More awsome than whatever mr Wonderful could think up.