Hyperinflation of the Dollar will then be inevitable

I received an e-mail today from a friend who has been quite successful as a professional, and done well thereafter investing the money he earned. Through his hard work, he certainly meets Obama’s definition of “rich,” if not that of the Kennedys, Heintz-Kerrys or George Soros. I’ve deleted his full name and the fairly prominent person he was visiting, which might identify him.

He writes:

“Dear Bob,
I was at …. on Friday night, sharing some sober thoughts about what is pending next Tuesday night. ….. We are facing some rough times. Congratulations on the blog. I liquidated all of our market investments early in the Summer and went into 100% cash. We are now considering getting everything out of the U.S. and into another currency, while it is still possible. Once you see a restriction placed on the free movement of capital, you will know that that the game is over. Hyperinflation of the Dollar will then be inevitable.” --R

Maybe he’s just an alarmist. But if “the rich” flee the US Economy because they are worried about Obama’s policies, there will be no investment in jobs, no economic recovery, and those in the bottom 50%, who are voting for Obama because he’s going to take money from the rich and send them a check, will be those who suffer the most. (Look at how the hyperinflation in Zimbabwe under Mugabe has hurt the poorest people, whose life expectancy has dropped from 63 to 37.)

The reaction to the 1929 market crash was to pass the Smoot-Hawley tariff bill to “protect American jobs.” It locked in the Great Depression.

Unfortunately, even most people who are nominally well-educated have a limited understanding of economics and the role of investments, profits and prices in making us better—or worse—off.

We have got ourselves debt-free to weather the coming storm. Unfortunately, I wasn’t paying attention when McCain, Bush and others warned in 2005 that Fannie and Freddie were going to create problems, so about 40% of my IRA is still in mutual funds. I’m sure they wish they’d been a little louder when the Democrats were saying Fannie & Freddie were sound as a dollar.

But Europe and Asia were even more over-leveraged in junk mortgages than the US. Hard to see how we can blame Fannie and Freddie or George Bush & the Republicans for that. More a case of everyone seeing vast profits and blindly piling on, like the Tulip Bulb Bubble or the Darien Colony in the 1600s.

The guys with a gun and a box of Krugerrands under the bed may turn out not to be as far out as I’ve thought.

Obama Loves Me

Obama Loves Me
Tune: Jesus Loves Me
(To be sung in all Churches, Synagogues and Mosques the weekend before the election)

Obama loves me, this I know,
For the media tell me so,
All our lives to him belong—
He’s The One who’s never wrong!

Chorus: Yes, Obama loves me,
Yes Obama loves me,
Yes, Obama loves me,
The media tell me so.

Obama is the only one
Who knows just what must now be done.
He will give us free health care,
So “Hope and Change” is now our prayer!

Reverend Wright he never heard
Damning America, we have his word,
Rezko and Raines are now no shows,
And William Ayers he hardly knows!

He’ll tax the rich ‘til they are poor,
So we won’t have to work no more.
Obama makes all Europe rave,
For he will make terrorists behave.

Do not question, do not ask,
Do not peek behind the mask,
Change will come Election Day,
For Daley’s with him all the way.

Obama loves me, this I know,
Hollywood fat cats tell me so,
He’s handsome, wise and not too old,
So we must vote just as we’re told!

Why I'm voting Democrat

Several older versions of this were floating around the net. I added 16 items, dropped a few, and rewrote about half of the rest, so it's about 2/3rds new. It has been picked up several places, so I thought I'd post it myself.

WHY I'M VOTING DEMOCRAT!

I’m voting Democrat because like most Americans I trust Lawyers more than anyone else, I think only lawyers should run the government, and all the Democrat Leaders are lawyers: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, John Edwards, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Leader Harry Reid, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and John Kerry, to name just a few. (Al Gore dropped out of Law School, so I don’t trust him as much, except on Global Warming.)

I’m voting Democrat because the Democrats support the trial lawyers and I think this country needs more lawsuits and less tort reform. And I don’t believe the trial lawyers’ contributions have a thing to do with it.

I’m voting Democrat because Congress has done such a wonderful job under Democrat leadership the last two years, that I want a lot more of the same.

I’m voting Democrat because I want to get my health care from the same competent, efficient, cost-effective, customer-service-focused folks who run the US Post Office, the Pentagon, FEMA and the state Registry of Motor Vehicles.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. Besides I live in Mayor Daley's/Sen. Obama's Cook County, where there is never any serious crime.

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama has promised to cut the taxes of 95% of the people, including the 40% who don’t pay taxes. Those who don't work deserve checks from those who do--it's only fair.

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama has promised to take away the secret ballot in union elections, and I think the union bosses should know if a workingman or woman is with them, or against them.

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama has over three years experience in the Federal Government, and “Hope” is a great strategy.

I’m voting Democrat because Sen. Obama voted “present” instead of “yes” or “no” over 120 times in the Illinois State Senate, and I think we need a decisive president.

I’m voting Democrat because I think that drilling for American oil is foolish, when we can buy oil from the Middle East.

I’m voting Democrat because I think windmills (except off Hyannis) are a better answer to reliable, clean energy than Nuclear Energy.

I’m voting Democrat because I don’t think we give enough to other countries in foreign aid.

I’m voting Democrat because I’m for putting up barriers to free trade, as they did in 1930 with the Smoot-Hawley bill. That made things much better then.

I’m voting Democrat because I miss the high unemployment, inflation and interest rates of the Jimmy Carter years.

I’m voting Democrat because parents shouldn’t get to choose the school their kids go to. Parents should leave their children’s education to the teachers and stay out of it.

I’m voting Democrat because I think this is the perfect time to raise the Capital Gains tax and drive investment money out of the stock market.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. And I want Sen. Obama's new tax on oil companies, to drive the price of gas back up.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would, and I want to spread my wealth around to those who earn less—or nothing.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as you don't criticize Muslims or minorities. That should be outlawed as "hate speech."

I'm voting Democrat because, when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop attacking us because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us what the weather will be next week, can tell us what it will be 50 years from now.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about restoring partial birth abortions so long as we keep all death row murderers alive.

I 'm voting Democrat because I believe that small businesses should not be allowed to make a profit. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution to people who didn’t start businesses.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the law is what judges say it is, and not what legislators say—or the constitution.

I’m voting Democrat because there will be riots if McCain wins.

I’m voting Democrat because the media would call me a racist if I didn’t.

Obama says time to move on, names cabinet

Obama says time to move on, names cabinet

FPI: Dateline Chicago, October 8, 2008. Presumptive President Barrack H. Obama today said that, based on the polls, media confirmation, and input from political experts in Hollywood, the 2008 Presidential Election “is effectively over, and it’s time to move on.”

“John McCain may want to put the American Taxpayer through the wasteful expense of actually voting,” the next president forcefully said, “but I’m moving forward and today I’m naming many members of my cabinet.”

Obama appeared relaxed and sure of himself. Looking every inch the greatest president who ever lived, as even some moderates have conceded he will certainly become, Senator Obama announced several cabinet positions in the incoming Obama administration. “These appointments are effect January 20, or sooner if that Bush guy will just step aside,” the Senator said.

Secretary of Defense: William Ayers. This was the big surprise, as Obama has said he hardly knows Ayers, who hosted election events for Obama at his home in Obama’s early campaigns, and served on a board of a left wing organization with Obama. “Who knows the Pentagon better than someone who tried to blow it up?” Obama asked the cheering crowd. “Who better to get the troops out of Iraq, and every place else, than someone who attacked them here at home?” Obama denied Republican’s claims that the appointment was a political reward for Ayers support of his earlier campaigns. “As I’ve said repeatedly, I hardly know him. We sat on opposite ends of the board table—when we showed up—and I don’t think he was home when my campaign event was held in his house.”

Secretary of the Treasury: Franklin D. Raines, with deputy secretaries Jim Johnson and Tim Howard. “Who better to run the country’s economy than the three men who made Fannie Mae such a bulwark of affordable housing and economic success?” Obama asked rhetorically. “And, since they took about $150,000,000 out of Fannie, they certainly don’t need the money and are serving only because I begged them to.”

Secretary of Homeland Security: Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago. “His dad knew how to keep troublemakers in line, and this Mayor can do the same,” Obama said. “No one in the Chicago organization, me included, ever thought of criticizing the Mayor. He’ll keep a firm hand on any problems, and probably find time to help Frank Raines over at the treasury, if any problems come up.”

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Michelle Obama. “It’ll give her something to do, to make her proud of America,” the incoming president said. “I can’t have her rattling around the White House all day, especially while it’s being painted a more diverse color.”

Attorney General: Tony Rezko. “Tony knows the criminal justice system inside out, he knows how to cut a deal, and it was the least I could do for him after he helped me buy a house and raise so much campaign cash.” Smear-prone Republicans continued their vicious attack ads, pointing out that Rezko was a convicted felon, currently serving time. “The constitution wisely gives the president the power to grant pardons” Obama pointed out “I’m not waiting until the end of my term, as Bill Clinton did to help his convicted supporters, when I need Tony in my administration now.” A grateful Rezko reportedly refused additional interviews with agents probing political corruption in Illinois.

Secretary of Education. President-in-all-but-name Obama said that he had offered the position to a teacher’s union lobbyist, but that the secretary-designate was deciding if the cut in pay was worth it. “I promise you, however, that whoever holds this job will put teachers first, and no teacher’s job will be jeopardized by poor performance or by feckless parents choosing to send their children to a better school. I’m not that pro-choice!”

The One declined to name a new Secretary of Labor at this time. “We’re still counting votes,” Obama said, “But it will be someone who doesn’t support letting working people vote secretly on union issues, as I promised my loyal supporters among union leaders. The bosses should know how the rank and file vote, so they can take the appropriate action.”

“We have to be judicious in these things,” Obama said. “For example, I’ve narrowed the choice to head the Environmental Protection Agency to Michael Moore, Barbara Streisand or the Dixie Chicks. But I don’t want to move too fast and make my first mistake.”

Obama said he wasn’t able to name all of the cabinet, because contribution checks were still being tallied. “And wait until you see who I’m going to put on the expanded 15-Member Supreme Court,” he said, winking at the laughing reporters. “Can you say Chief Justice Hillary?”
Senator Obama then left for a meeting with the people he has designated to take over the military’s Joint Chiefs of Staff, including the incoming JCS Chairman, newly-promoted General Beau Biden. Accompanying the incoming president was the new Director of the CIA, Aldrich Ames, and Bernadette Dohrn, who will head up the FBI.

(Satire from Fake Press International. Not actual quotes.)

Obama Blasts McCain Vietnam Surrender as “Stunt”

Obama Blasts McCain Vietnam Surrender as “Stunt”

San Francisco Chronicle-Daily Worker-Pravda: San Francisco, CA. Dateline, September 25, 2008.

Presumptive President Barack Obama today unleashed a blistering blast at his reeling rival, Senator John McCain, before a cheering crowd at a Vietnam Veterans for Obama rally. The audience waved the assault rifles and bibles to which they were clinging throughout the Senator’s magnificent speech.

Calling John McCain’s October, 1967 shoot down and capture by the North Vietnamese a “political stunt,” Obama pointed out that McCain “supinely surrendered” despite “superficial wounds.”

“If McCain is such a hero, how come he gave up so easily?” asked Senator Obama, whom all the Mainstream-Media-that-Matter and Hollywood Stars have conceded is sure to be elected president in November. “After all, we have only his word that he had two broken arms and a broken leg. It was just a political stunt to help McCain’s future political campaigns, by making him appear patriotic,” said the Flag-Pin-Wearing Obama.

Senator Obama, who is affectionately known as The-Choice-of-all-Europe, also effectively criticized McCain’s “vicious claim” that the North Vietnamese smashed his shoulder with a rifle butt and bayoneted him, or that he was tortured during the five plus years when he was the “well-treated guest” of their government. “Anyone who would make such irresponsible statements, and thus damage our relationship with a friendly foreign government, isn’t fit to serve in the Illinois state senate, where I proudly voted “present” so many times, never mind to be leader of the Entire World as it Should Be, as I will be elected on November fourth,” said the President-To-Be. “This is the worst thing I’ve seen in my over three years' service in the United States Government!” the Veteran Legislator and Experienced Leader said.

But the President-in-Waiting wasn’t done ripping McCain. “John McLame criticizes my friend, political supporter and colleague Bill Ayers—whom I only know slightly— for not repenting that he and his wife took part in bombing New York City Police Headquarters, the Capitol building and the Pentagon, and for saying he hadn’t done enough to hurt America. But has McCain every repented of the bombing he did in North Vietnam? Not once! And he has the gall to talk about terrorists!” Ayers, now a respected professor in Daleyville after being acquitted on a technicality, has worked with Senator Obama as a fellow director of the Woods Fund and hosted Obama political gatherings in his home. The crowd sniggered delightedly at the clever “McLame” reference to McCain’s disabilities.

The one they call The One wasn’t done, “McCain also criticizes my friend and political fund raiser, Tony “The Fixer Felon” Rezko, for helping me get a few-hundred-K discount on my house. It’s a cheap shot to pick on someone in prison who can’t answer back—as former Yankee-Air-Pirate-War-Criminal-Prisoner McCain should know—but has John McCain ever paid back the Vietnamese government for the five and a half years he spent as their guest, with free room and board in, by his own admission, a Hilton? No—and he refused a generous offer from his gracious hosts to come home early, so it must have been a pretty plush freebee! Doubtless it was this largess that led McCain to support Vietnam’s lobbying effort for better trade relations!”

The crowd cheered wildly when the Next President joked about McCain’s inability to use e-mail and the Internet, because using a key board is painful for him, due to his war injuries. “He could type holding a pencil in his teeth to strike the keys. After all, an old fart like McCain has lots of time; it’s not like he’s out playing B-Ball or anything useful.”

The rapt attendees, all under age thirty, laughed until tears were streaming down their glowing young faces. “We want CHANGE, we want CHANGE NOW and we don’t care what KIND OF CHANGE it is,” they chanted, expressing their deep appreciation of the nuances of Senator Obama’s highly-detailed policy positions.

But their laughter dried up when Future Greatest-President-Ever Obama convincingly tied McCain to government waste. “McCain snidely condemns the millions in earmarks I brought home to my mentors in the Deserving Daley Dynasty in Chicago, and attacks my friend and valued advisor Franklin Raines for the well-earned compensation—under a paltry hundred million dollars by the way—he received while doing such a great job building Fannie Mae into the strong player in affordable American housing it is today, but has he ever mentioned the multi-million dollar fighter bomber he lost in North Vietnam, pulling off his political stunt? In my view, McCain should have to repay the taxpayers for the cost of both that aircraft, and the one he lost in the Forrestal fire, after he allowed it to be hit by a rocket accidently fired by another plane. With interest, of course, and not at the sweet discounted interest rate my friend and Veep-Pick-Advisor Jim Johnson got on his tiny $5 million in mortgages from Countrywide, either.”

Following his historic address, the Soon-To-Be-Elevated Senator shook hands with every worshipful member of the crowd of swooning supporters in the San Francisco VFW hall, estimated by this paper to be between 30,000 and 40,000 young Vietnam vets, before leaving ten minutes later for his weekly adoration session with the stars at yet another Hollywood fund raiser.

If they can make one after this devastating recital of facts by the God-Like Senator Obama, a rebuttal from the McCain camp will appear on page 17 of the Fashion Section, space available, if they can find someone to e-mail it to us.

Satire by Robert A. Hall, a Marine Vietnam Veteran and former Massachusetts state senator. Intended to be humor. Not real quotes. Please do not forward without this note!