The Secret of
Happiness
People search for happiness all
their lives, and many never find it. And right here, in this little book, I’m
going to tell you the secret of happiness.
Stop looking for it. Really, it’s
that easy. And that hard.
People who chase after happiness
almost never find it. Usually they do so by becoming self-centered and
self-indulgent. Such people are never happy. They think they will find
happiness by being rich, often working themselves almost to death chasing
money. Or worse, becoming dishonest people and stealing or cheating others out
of what they have earned. But they are not happy. I’ve never met a happy thief.
They think they can be happy by
feeling good, and they drink too much, or abuse drugs, or smoke, or indulge in
promiscuous sex. When it doesn’t work, they do it more. And these things make
their lives very unhappy.
They try to party and do things
that are fun all the time, and soon find that the “fun” isn’t fun anymore. It
leaves them feeling empty.
So how come all these people chase
happiness and never find it?
Because they don’t know the
secret.
Happiness can’t be found. It can only
come to you when you are doing other things that are important, and not
worrying about finding happiness.
The secret of happiness is to care
about something more important than yourself. Unfortunately, you can tell
people that, but they don’t believe it. Self-centered people try it, but soon
go back to thinking they are the center of the universe, that only their wants,
desires and needs matter, and they can step on anyone to get them. They go back
to their parties or their drugs or their sex or their booze. And thus to being
unhappy, which they blame on other people.
It doesn’t matter what you care
about, that is bigger than you, only that it is worth caring passionately
about. Caring about being the prettiest girl in school, or having the cutest
boyfriend, or eating the most hotdogs in a contest doesn’t count.
Caring passionately about
important things more than yourself doesn’t mean you never have fun. Before I
met your Grandma, I had more than a few girlfriends, and we had a lot of fun.
Grandma and I have a good time almost all the time. I’ve enjoyed parties and
dancing and poetry and travel and hiking and reading. I like Scotch and, yes,
sometimes I’ve drunk too much—so the next day I wasn’t happy at all! All of
these qualify as “fun,” and we all need a balance of fun in our lives. But they
aren’t the kind of things you can care about that will make you happy.
Here are some of the important
things I’ve cared about more than myself. I’ve cared a lot about my country,
and still do, working all I can to protect her and to make her better, so kids
like you will have the life of freedom and opportunity in the future that
America gave to me. I’ve cared about the US Marine Corps every day since I
joined in August of 1964. Of course, serving in the Marines is one way I tried
to help protect my country. You know I volunteered to serve in Vietnam, a war
(and was lucky enough to have an easy time of it compared to most Marines). I
remember being miserable sometimes in the heat or rain or even cold. I remember
being bored sometimes. I remember being scared a few times. But I don’t
remember being unhappy, because I was serving something larger and more
important than myself.
I’ve been lucky enough to have
jobs, first as a state senator and later as an association executive, where the
work I did made a difference in people’s lives. So I cared about my jobs, and
happiness came to me.
I’ve cared about my family, about
my parents and brothers and other relatives. Since I married your Grandma in
1992, I’ve cared about her more than anything but my country. That is, until
Britnye Ruby Vela was born in 2000, and I started caring about you as much as
Grandma. Every day, I ask God to protect Grandma and to protect you—and to do
whatever he thinks best with me.
Caring passionately about these
things more than I have cared about myself have made me a very happy person,
though I didn’t set out to chase happiness.
Sure, I have bad days when bad
things make me unhappy. The car breaks down. Or some lowlife steals from me.
Someone does something mean to me at work. But because I have these basic
building blocks of happiness in my life—things I care about—I get over being
angry or unhappy pretty fast.
There are lots of other things you
could care about that would make you just as happy. Working as a volunteer in
an organization, or having a job where you help people. Getting involved in
your church or other place of worship. Taking care of stray or abused dogs and
cats. Getting food for the hungry. It’s a long list.
The trick is to have something, or
even better several things, you are involved in that are important and that you
care about more than yourself.
As I write this, you are
eleven-years-old. But Grandma and I have noticed that you tend to be
“other-centered,” that is, you care a lot about other people, not just
yourself. That’s a good sign, because you can often spot the self-centered kid
by that age. If you turn out that way, you will be happy. People who care about
things, like money, are usually unhappy. People who care about other people are
usually happy. People who are kind and generous are usually happy. People who
are selfish and mean are usually unhappy.
If you don’t care about hurting
your family and the people who love you by doing drugs or stealing or other
self-destructive behaviors, you will make yourself and those who love you very
unhappy.
You get to choose. Now that you
know the secret, choose wisely.
Excerpt From:
Advice for my Granddaughter: For When I’m
Gone
http://www.amazon.com/Advice-Granddaughter-When-Im-Gone/dp/147004238X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417188860&sr=1-1&keywords=Advice+Granddaughter+Robert+A+Hall
Advice for Boys: From an Old Marine by Robert A. Hall
All royalties go to charity.
Advice for Boys: From an Old Marine by Robert A. Hall
All royalties go to charity.
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