Bob's Christmas Cookies

I’ve been doing some baking this year, and thought I’d leave this to post for you, as Holiday activities will have me tied up. My baking strategy is to look at 3-4 recipes on the Internet, then take the parts I like, using healthy substitute ingredients where possible. But I find eggs work better than eggbeaters in cookies. Enjoy.

Bob's Ginger Snaps

Best cookies I made, I think.

1 cup Splenda brown sugar

3/4 cup canola oil

1/4 cup sugar free Maple syrup

2 eggs

2 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cup oats

1 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 teaspoons ground ginger

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a large bowl, mix together the brown sugar, oil, syrup, and eggs. Combine the flour, oats baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and ginger; stir into the batter mixture.

Put in fridge for an hour. Teaspoonfuls 2 on greased cookie sheets. Bake for about 10 minutes in preheated oven, or until center is firm. (I baked the first batch 12 minutes, came out nice, but crisp and stuck a little to the cookie sheets.)

Bob's Peanut Butter Cookies

I made these as my granddaughter loves peanut butter cookies. But, alas, she still preferred the high-sugar packaged mix. Sigh.

3/4 cup canola oil

1 cup Splenda

1 cup Splenda Brown Sugar or sugar-free maple syrup

1 cup creamy peanut butter

1/2 cup vanilla low-fat yogurt

2 eggs

2.75 cups flour

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Directions:

1. Cream together oil, peanut butter and sugars/syrup. Beat in eggs and yogurt

2. In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir into batter. Put batter in refrigerator for 1 hour

3. Roll into 1 inch balls and put on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten each ball with a fork, making a criss-cross pattern. Bake in a preheated 375 degrees for about 10 minutes or until cookies begin to brown. Do not over-bake.

Bob's Applesauce Cookies

I wanted to make something for our new condo neighbors in Des Plaines, but wasn’t sure if their kids might have nut allergies, so I substituted applesauce instead. Came out pretty good, fluffy like cake.

3/4 cup canola oil

1/2 cup Splenda (More if you like them sweeter)

1 cup Splenda Brown Sugar

1 cup unsweetened applesauce 

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

2.75 cups flour

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Directions:

1. Cream together oil, applesauce and sugars. Beat in eggs and spices

2. In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir into batter. Put batter in refrigerator for 1/2 hour

3. Drop teaspoonfuls onto on greased baking sheets. Bake in a preheated oven 375 degrees for about 12 minutes or until cookies begin to brown. Do not over-bake.

Bob’s Nutella Cookies

I made these because the granddaughter likes Nutella, but she said they were just “okay.” Not sweet enough. I like these the least, and agreed they were just “okay,’ but my wife is more into chocolate, and liked them.

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup Canola oil

1 1/4 cups Splenda

½ cup low fat vanilla yogurt or skim milk

2 eggs

1 cup Nutella

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream together the oil and Splenda until smooth. Mix in eggbeaters and Nutella. (It takes a little mixing, but works.) Gradually blend in the dry ingredients. Drop teaspoonfuls of dough onto ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake about 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Let stand on cookie sheet two minutes before removing to cool.

Bonus: Britnye’s Peanut Butter Cake

(My granddaughter, Britnye, loves peanut butter cookies. She also loves cake. So I figured that a peanut butter cake would work, and created this recipe. I have never heard of one, but it seems so obvious, there must be hundreds of recipes. This came out pretty good; she declared it the best thing I ever made and asked me for another for her up-coming slumber party. Enjoy. Bob. 12/2012)

2 eggs (or 1/2 cup eggbeaters)

2/3 cup canola oil

1.5 cups Splenda brown sugar mix

1 cup skim milk

1 cup creamy peanut butter

1/2 cup of rolled oats

2 tsp baking powder

2 cups of all purpose flour

Cream eggs, oil and Splenda together. Stir in milk, Stir in peanut butter. Stir in oats, baking powder and flour.

Put in greased cake pan. Bake in pre-heated over at 350 degrees for about 65-70 minutes or until a knife comes out clean.

Bonnie’s Nutella Cake

(My bride is the chocoholic in the family, so I made this one for her.)

2 eggs (or 1/2 cup eggbeaters)

2/3 cup canola oil

1.25 cups Splenda

1 cup skim milk

1 cup Nutella

1/2 cup of rolled oats

2 tsp baking powder

2.5 cups of all purpose flour

Cream eggs, oil and Splenda together. Stir in milk, Stir in Nutella. Stir in oats, baking powder and flour.

Put in greased cake pan. Bake in pre-heated over at 350 degrees for about 60 minutes or until a knife comes out clean.

Merry Christmas from Madison, WI

A Jihad Christmas

At this holy season, the most devout members of the Religion of Peace, wish to bring all infidels a message of ""Submission on Earth to Allah, and to Kuffer, slaughter! " (Click on the picture if too small to read the stocking.)

Short Fiction: Merry Christmas, Snake

Merry Christmas, Snake

By Robert A. Hall

A Vietnam Christmas

            Eddie wrapped a length of C-ration baling wire around the trunk of Aunt Thel's tree, and wedged the end between the bunker's crumbling sandbags.  That corrected the starboard list caused by a bent stand.  Considering that their mail had been air-dropped from a C-130 cargo plane, the two-foot artificial tree had come through remarkably well, with only the bent leg and one broken limb.  At Snake's suggestion, they had turned the "bare spot" to the wall and trimmed the tree with the surviving decorations and local crafts: a tin star cut from a C-ration can, a pair of lance corporal chevrons with the black coating worn off so they glittered, some brass M-16 shell casings.

            Eddie would have preferred canned peaches from Aunt Thel, but he thought the tree looked right cheerful in their bunker.  He twisted the tin star to catch light from the radios and began softly singing:

            "Jingle bells, mortar shells, V. C. in the grass--

            You can take, your Merry Christmas, and shove it up..."

            He sensed "incoming" and ducked as Snake's boot banged into the wall, safely away from the precious tree, sending a trickle of sand dribbling through the slats of the wooden pallets that served as the bunker's floor.  Eddie turned and saw Snake smiling at him over a can of C-ration ham and limas.  You couldn't get pissed at a guy who would trade you beanies and weenies for ham and "slimies," which every reasonable person hated the way Santa's point-deer Rudolph hated clear weather.

            Eddie wiped his eyes to get rid of the stinging caused by grit from the sandbags.  It didn't help.  "Since when did you get the Christmas spirit?" he asked, "I thought you were a Black Muslim?" 

            Snake had announced his new religion several weeks ago, the fourth in seven months.  Though he maintained a devout facade, his "conversions" were a standing joke in the platoon.  Eddie had reasonably pointed out that while he, himself, was black, Snake was a white dude—an awkward start for a Black Muslim.

            Snake's response was that Eddie was an Uncle Tom; and, that since there was no other black dude to be the radical on their radio relay team, he would have to do it himself, "Just like every goddamned thing else around here."

            "Can't be a Muslim on Christmas Eve," Snake smiled, and continued dropping pieces of John Wayne crackers through the floor planks for the rat.  He's been trying to kill the rat just last week, but, following the lead of the Viet Cong, had declared a Christmas truce with it yesterday.

            Eddie picked up the jungle boot, and turned it over, observing that it was nearly new.  He looked down to his left boot, where the electrical tape holding it together was coming loose.  The sides had rotted and he hadn't been able to scrounge replacements from supply's limited stock.

            "Hey, Snake, how about giving me your extra boots?  We're the same size, almost."

            "Certainly, my man," Snake promised, "As soon as the Sear's catalog comes and I can order something more stylish.  We might, however, barter--I do admire that K-bar knife on your belt."  Snake rose and headed to the bunker door, which hung precariously from the hinges of shell boxes.  "I'll go switch generators." 

            He went into the night, taking only a small flashlight, to carry out the regular task of alternating the 400 cycle generators that powered their AN/TRC-27 radio relay unit.

            Eddie was re-taping his boot when the first mortar round exploded in the small perimeter.  "Christmas truce!" he spat, lunging for the door, "Little rice-propelled bastards!"

****

            By the time the corpsman had checked the flow of blood from Snake's mangled leg, and closed the flap of open flesh on his right cheek, the painkiller had taken hold and he was babbling happily.

            "Lucky break, Eddie," he said, laughing, "I tripped over the goddamn antenna guy wire and couldn't make the hole.  Now I'm going home for Christmas, buddy.  I'll be dancing in Time's Square on New Year's Eve while you're still stuck in this shit hole, man."

            Eddie glanced at Snake's leg and winced as they loaded him onto the stretcher.  "Nail one of them hippy broads for me," he said.

            Snake laughed again, almost a giggle. "Hey, Eddie," he said, "You can have those boots."  He gave a weak, cheery wave.  "Merry Christmas, man."

            "Merry Christmas, Snake," Eddie said, then he impulsively pulled the K-Bar from his belt and laid it on the stretcher, knowing that some rear-echelon pogue would probably steal it from Snake.  "Take that home as a souvenir of this slice of paradise."

            Snake waved again as the corpsmen hefted the stretcher and struggled carefully up the muddy slope toward the med-evac LZ.  "Merry Fucking Christmas," Eddie whispered to himself.

            He turned to go check the radios.  The grit was bothering him again.  Now, he thought, who the hell can I trade ham and limas to?

--end--

Merry Christmas from 1957

Yes, my nickname was "Skipper" or "Skippy." Yes, I still have that stocking. Luckily, Al Gore has banned coal to fill it. I think my brother Tom still has his as well.

A Sowell Christmas

I hope you are having as good a Christmas as I am, having received three books by the brilliant economist Dr. Thomas Sowell:

Applied Economics, A Conflict of Visions & Knowledge and Decisions.

I've been happily buried in the last one all afternoon.

While Sowell's writing skills, cognitive powers and mental discipline are far beyond mine, a Sowell book is great exercise for the mind. Reading one is better than a 3-credit college course for learning new things, new ways to look at and understand the world.