Understanding Your Role

This was written by my Marine buddy, Del, and is posted with his permission:

1. IF you didn't vote for Obama, you are a racist (one exception- if you're Black, then you're a damn Oreo)
2. IF you object to the Health Care plan as proposed, you are a heartless capitalist who wants poor people to suffer & die
3. IF you object to Cap & Trade, you are not only a heartless capitalist but also a willing despoiler of the planet caring nothing for cuddly Polar bears or any life forms at all that live near an existing beach
4. IF you are a smoker, you are a suicidal fool who doesn't care about giving cancer to all the innocents who ever come near you
5. IF you are a male with even a remotely masculine appearance or way of speaking, you are a chauvinist and exploiter of women
6. IF you are a female, with a strong personality and any kind of successful history of accomplishments in science, business, politics, or life in general, and you are not very publicly and passionately in the prochoice camp, or you hold some conservative views, or (heaven forfend) you might even be a Republican, you are a traitor to your gender or a sellout to the male-dominated power structure or maybe just a dizzy bitch
7. IF you have any concerns at all about the possibility of a growing fetus having some sort of status as human life, you are a total religious nutcase who is eager to deny women any sort of rights over their own bodies
8. IF you are a practicing Christian of any sort and let it be known in any way, you are very likely a fundamentalist nut, intolerant, and profoundly biased against all other religions, agnostics, and atheists
9. IF you are anything less than enthusiastic about alternate lifestyles or sexual orientations, you are a narrow-minded bigot who hates anyone not exactly like yourself and are probably prone to vicious violence against anyone different
10. IF you don't understand that all problems between peoples and cultures are merely matters of poor communication and misunderstandings, and the onus is on us Western culture people to bend over backwards and then some to respect and really accommodate, while publicly proclaiming and apologizing for most of our past history, then you are an arrogant imperialist and also almost certainly a racist
11. IF you think that immigration into this country is a significant and those who come illegally need to be found and sent back to their home countries, you are again a racist, or simply a person who has no understanding of basic human rights
IF you volunteered for the military as enlisted, you are too stupid to go to college and get a good career, if as an officer, you are one of those macho idiots who thinks war, death, and destruction are fun
12. IF you are a veteran, and not in one of the antiwar groups, you are very possibly dangerous (like Timothy McVeigh), or a sad victim of PTSD, or another one of those violence-junkies who wear torn denim, lots of chains, and ride over decorated monster motorcycles or SUVs and are often involved in selling drugs
13. IF you oppose deficit spending, you have no understanding of modern economics, and are a greedy capitalist who despises the less fortunate (let them eat cake!)
14. IF you speak out at a congressman's town hall meeting, and disagree with him/her, you are a Right Wing Nut who was driven there by fringe elements and gets money from the extremist rich people of the GOP
15. IF you think New Black Panther thugs with nightsticks intimating voters in Philadelphia should be subject to the law and face prosecution, you are either a bigot or a denier of Free Speech, or both
16. IF you think that judicial decisions should be made on the basis of the law, rather than empathy for favored groups, you are an insensitive jerk and pretty much assured of being class conscious at least, if not outright racist
17. IF you think that the separation of powers in the Constitution really meant something, and that Jefferson was right when he said "That government which governs least, governs best", you don't understand the realities of modern life and are an impediment to progress
18. IF you are concerned about becoming less oil-dependent, but think that really updating our nuclear power technology (as the French have done) and simplifying the licensing and construction of nuclear plants and removing the obstacles to safe storage of nuclear waste underground in a geologically stable region really needs to be done, you are a total fool, and don't care in the least about the safety and health of all life forms on our continent (and are probably on the payroll of the energy industry that wants to get these plants built).