The terms “Global War on Terror” and “The Long War” are out. They imply that we might actually fight back against people who want to kill and enslave us, justified by a widely-held 7th century interpretation of their faith.
See this story: 'Global War on Terror' is Given New Name
“President Wonderful” is casting about for a term that will make us seem less resolute, more accommodating, more European if you will. They are currently using Overseas Contingency Operations, but that hardly has the panache one would expect from an administration known for rhetoric more than anything else.
(I wasn’t being sarcastic calling BO “President Wonderful.” That’s the term being used now by a Washington Post columnist. Really. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/24/AR2009032403933.html?wpisrc=newsletter)
But imagine adoring sons asking, “What did you do in the Overseas Contingency Operations, daddy?” Or grizzled vets complaining, “Kids have it easy today. When I was their age, I was in an Overseas Contingency Operation.”
Perhaps we’ll have motivational posters urging patriotic Americans to Buy Overseas Contingency Operations Bonds!
No, clearly President Wonderful needs some help on this one. So, in the same spirit of the bi-partisanship that the left extended to President Bush, I want to help.
How about “International Tea Party”? No, probably reminds President BO too much of the tax revolt.
“We know we deserve it for being Americans, but please stop kicking us”? No, too long for the Teleprompter.
“World Wide Bailout”? No, bailouts are getting a bad name.
“Peace in our Time”? No, been done.
“Can we buy you off?” No, too transparent.
“The Unfortunate Misunderstanding”? Better, but too reminiscent of the claim that people like me—and apparently millions of Muslims—misunderstand Islam, which is a Religion of Peace. Hummmm.
“Our Friendly Effort to Remind Muslims That When They Engage in Murder, Violence and Hate, they Misunderstand Islam”? “The War Against the Tiny Minority of Extremists Who Have Hijacked Islam, the Religion of Peace”? This is harder than I thought. No wonder President Wonderful hasn’t come up with a catchy slogan.
Can you do better? Please post your suggestion for the new name for the Global War on Terror in the comments section below. No profanity please.